When Naruto Dies!
by Hyuun
Summary: What happens when a mischevious little girl cons everyone into killing Naruto? Well, isn't it obvious! WARNING: Character death, but TOTALLY humorous!


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I wish I do. I do, however own Jimmy. She a girl I tell, you, a girl!(inside joke- but still, she's a girl)

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"Don't you want credit for all the stuff that you've done? I mean, he gets all the attention, wins all the fights, and he even gets a cool catchphrase! Heck, the series is _named _after him!" A little girl with reddish-brown hair stood before the group of shinobis in front of her. "Are you going to stand for that!"

_Ugh, to get chewed out by a little girl- again! How bothersome… _Shikamaru thought, folding his arms across his chest, glaring at the little girl angrily. "C'mon, Jimmy, cut us some slack." He whined.

Kiba, who hadn't been paying much attention, only knowing in his head that someone was chewing him out about something, nodded, "Yeah, whatever he said. He's the smart one."

The little girl, Jimmy, picked up a rather large rock and threw it at Kiba sharply. "You weren't paying attention, were you!"

"Ouch! Jimmy, that hurt… you're so mean…"

Jimmy just shrugged, then examined his head closely. "Your head's not much more damaged than it was before, so shut-up. I'm defending you guys, and what do I get!"

Neji rolled his eyes, groaning softly, "There she goes again."

It was true, though, the little eight-year-old had quite the temper, and even though the shinobis surrounding her were many years older, they were terrified of her. When she got into one of her 'I am the right one, you are the wrong one' speeches, she could get violent.

"You know, all I do is work, work, work for you guys. And now you've betrayed me! Why don't I just leave you guys and participate in normal games in which others my age play!" Jimmy snapped, turning around slowly. "I've only chosen one path, the path that you have followed, and our ancestors before us, THE SHINOBI WAY!" Jimmy shouted, putting her hands on her hips, eyes glinting.

All of the older shinobis back up a little. "Oh, no not 'The Shinobi Way' speech again! That one took hours last time!" Kankuro complained, then adding, "Why are we here again?"

Temari smiled, then let out a giggle, "Because Shikamaru's here!"

"I feel so special!" Shikamaru sighed.

The group began to turn away from Jimmy, who had been making her speech the whole time. "Want to go get some lunch?" Chouji suggested, hopefully.

TenTen grabbed Neji's hand, dragging him along with the others, who had all nodded in agreement. "C'mon, Neji, let's go eat!"

Shino sighed softly, _Better not be tacos again tonight._ But all he actually said was, "…"

"ARE YOU IGNORING ME!" Jimmy screamed, turning around sharply, hands clenched into fists. Everyone stopped suddenly, facing her, almost trembling with fear. Jimmy unsheathed the long, heavy broadsword she held on her back, shaking it in the older shinobis' faces. "YOU DARE IGNORE _ME_!"

"Aah! Jimmy don't hurt us! Where'd you get the sword anyway!" Shikamaru yelled, the tip of Jimmy's broadsword pointed at his temple.

Suddenly, Kiba started whistling, twiddling his fingers. "Don't look at me."

"KIBA!" everyone moaned simultaneously.

He held his hands in front of him, "What? She said _please_! How could I resist when _Jimmy said please_!" He protested, his words stopped them. They all nodded, it was nearly impossible to get Jimmy to say anything close to, 'please' or 'thank-you'.

"Aw, come on, Jimmy, what are we supposed to do, kill Naruto?" Rock Lee asked her, sighing.

Jimmy stopped, mid-swing, a hairsbreadth from slicing both Shikamaru and Kiba in half. "Hmm, that sounds like a good idea, actually." She grinned.

"B-but we can't just kill Naruto…" Hinata whimpered, hiding behind Shino.

"Yes we can." Sakura and Sasuke said simply.

Everyone paused, glancing around, trying to see what others thought. A moment of silence took place, but then it was broke by Gaara, who had been silent the whole time. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Oookaaay… we agree!" Kiba answered quickly, everyone nodded.

Jimmy giggled. An insane little giggle that only complete and total psychopaths giggle. She rubbed her hands together like they did on her Sunday morning cartoons when the villain was doing a very evil deed. "Then it's settled. Tomorrow morning, we'll kill Uzumaki Naruto."

_Seven o'clock, the following day…_

"Lee? Lee, we all know how youthful you are, I just wanted to ask you if you're in position… Good." Jimmy clicked off the walkie-talkie. "Okay, everyone's in position, and Naruto should be coming around the corner any minute now."

Jimmy had set up the entire plan. All of the others were positioned around the Ichiraku Ramen Shop, ready to pounce on Naruto after his daily visit. He came at around seven o'clock every day, wearing a bright orange jogging suit, and his official Leaf Village headband. Jimmy had sure done her homework.

She smiled, there he was now, a piece of toast sticking out of his mouth. Even from this distance, she could her his loud, annoying smacking. Jimmy winced, covering her ears, "Nnn, stupid Naruto…"

Despite this annoyance, Jimmy continued watching him silently. He went into the ramen shop. Jimmy relaxed a bit, the annoying munching sound had almost faded away to a soft buzzing in her ears. _This could take awhile. _Jimmy thought, resting her head glumly on her open palm.

Five minutes passed.

Half an hour.

An hour.

"How long does it take to get a package of STUPID RAMEN!" Jimmy hissed, clenching her fists, turning her knuckles white. "If he doesn't come out I swear I'll, I'll,"

"Ramen, ramen, all for me, none for you! All my ramen!" Naruto sang loudly, Jimmy almost fainted.

She looked away, shaking her head miserably. Then she heard a loud scream- Naruto's voice- a buzzing of destruction beetles, a dog barking, and the sound of a struggle. Jimmy turned around quickly, but realized she'd just missed the whole battle. The dust cleared from where the rumble had taken place, and it took Jimmy a few minutes to see Naruto- or what was left of him.

Jimmy crept toward the broken bits of what had been the 'greatest ninja ever.' She squinted, then grinned. "That was great, you guys."

"You really think so?" Kiba asked, hopefully.

"Yup."

"Really?"

"No."

"Aww…"

Jimmy frowned, "But I mean it, you guys left too much of a mess, now we'll have to clean it all up and bury him somewhere. And when I mean 'we', I mean all of you."

"Aww… Jimmy…" they all groaned.

She clapped her hands, smiling gleefully. "Chop, chop, now, you don't want any assassins to come and kill you just because you took their prey."

Then they all ran off- quite literally- to bury Naruto.


End file.
